As of late I’ve been working on a new project. One that, in part, I’ve had in mind for a very long time.
See. the plural community is very important to me. I’ve been in and out of various circles for the last decade offering advice to newcomers and those well into their journey alike. I always strive to advocate for healthy communication, understanding, and building a better life among headmates.
It’s something very near and dear to my heart, and while I don’t always dedicate myself to the process, I do always end up coming back to it.
One thing I’ve always wanted to do was write a guide or a resource of sorts to help those new to the community, to encourage them and offer advice where I can, just as people did for us when we first found out who and what we were.
Now that I’ve gotten my first site up and running, I spent a good while mulling over what I wanted to do for my next project, and I realized that maybe now was the moment I had been waiting for. Maybe it was time to put everything I’ve learned to use and make a resource to help others.
I was so excited when I picked it up. I have a huge list of things I want to write out, ideas I want to share, and lessons I would like to impart. I have ideas for how to design the site, all a little grander than what I’ve done with this simple blog here.
…and then I got into it. Granted, it’s only been a few days. I’ve only been working at this a short while, and every day I chip away at it in one way or another.
Yet I find myself somewhat struggling with the weight of expectations I’ve put on myself.
I find myself struggling with my new site, thinking “Oh god, can I really do this?”
I find myself grappling with every post I write. “Am I really qualified for this? Does my opinion even matter? What if this all sounds like I’m spouting it out my ass?”
I find anxiety creeping in and eating at me. Telling me I’m not good enough to finish this project.
And I’m having to stop myself, take a step back, and take a deep breath…several times a day while working on this, really.
This project is so near and dear to my heart. I want to complete it. I want to put it out into the world and help people the way that people used to help me. It’s a daunting project, but I have no deadline. I can and will finish this.
I just…need to manage my expectations a bit, I guess ;p
Wish me luck.