The process of building this site is unlike any that I, or anyone in my system, has ever experienced. The Original has always grimaced at the idea of delving into anything a little more tech savy than just…browsing the web and gaming. Technical issues and computer problems drive her to weep, more often than not. As a result, though one of us had shown interest in the past, none of us have ever really delved into the more nitty-gritty side of things when it came to using our PC. I got the idea to build this blog simply by coming across one on the fedi that I happened to like. I had previously been using paper.wf, which certainly wasn’t -bad-, but it felt a little limiting in what I was able to do. Seeing the formatting of this site I couldn’t help but send the creator a message. I wanted to have this too. It was beautiful.
They sent me a zip for the source code, and I was sat there with this little bundle of black magic in my hands, and a single question in my mind.
…What the fuck am I supposed to do with this?
Many directed me to wordpress, though I never got further than making an account, as immediately after asking The Original’s husband and his friend, I was ushered away from wordpress and had Hugo dropped in my lap. I didn’t even know how to open the program. TO’s husband had to walk me through using the terminal and setting it up. I felt hopelessly lost the first day, but I found myself having a tremendous amount of fun, once I started to get the hang of it. With yet another of our friends at my side I began slowly chipping away at the program and understanding it bit by bit. I loved it.
…The second day, TO tried to handle things, and she simply cried ;p
So back at it for me.
But as days passed and I stuck with it, I found myself consistently enjoying the process. Wanting to know more. And I still do. Just because I’ve managed to set this up doesn’t mean I have any idea what in the world I’m doing. I would love to dive into learning HTML and CSS so that I can work on building my own theme someday…someday very far in the future, of course. But I’m quite glad to have taken this project on. I feel like it’s something that could become an integral part of who I am, just as writing itself is, and I would love to be able to share it with the people I love. TO and the others in the system may not understand how in the world I can enjoy it so much, but each of them is so happy for me in their own way. And I like to think TO’s husband and I can bond over it, to some degree. He and I have never had a ton to bond over, and I would quite like to.
I wrote a little something while reflecting on my third day of work on this blog, and I wanted to share it here, before I went on my way. I do hope you enjoy it, much as I hope you’re able to find anything to enjoy in my other writings.
In the mean time, have a wonderful day <3
I take a deep breath, and I reflect. It’d been a long day. Not a bad one, mind you, but a long one.
All day I had whittled away at a personal project, tweaking and changing files, trying my best to figure things out on my own. So absorbed was I in my own little world, that I hadn’t stopped to realize I was stiffling that of the others.
“Kasey’s using all the mental bandwidth.” One jokingly complained. “Kasey, mom said it’s my turn on the xbox!” Another laughed.
Yet I chugged away.
Meanwhile, “mom”, or I suppose I should more accurately say our host, simply…ceased to be. Silence. Not a peep from her. I sat in a call with our actual mother, chatting and laughing with her. I worked through issues on my project with a friend. I sat with her husband and talked. Silence. She had ceased to be.
It had been a peaceful day, in my opinion. One that likely would’ve driven her mad. Technology and its struggles had a way of making her cry.
I was grateful for the peace.
As the night winded down and came to an end, I felt her groggily blink back into existence. “What the fuck happened? Wait, shit, I’m me. Was I not me all day?”
She still remembered the day, of course, remembered every little detail. From what files I had edited, down to when I brushed my teeth. But the world, this day, had been only me.
What a strange, strange feeling.
A slight sense of nausea over took the body, Our movements became clunky and stiff. Not enough to be noticeable to an outside viewer But a faint, undeniable drag as the body struggled to decide who was in control I almost wished I could just give it to her, Let her be in charge… But I was stuck.
I take a deep breath And I reflect.
I still had more to work on. More than needed done. Tomorrow would be another Kasey day. I would be all that there was.